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jrgraybooks

Texas Scares Me

I found out last week I am moving to Texas.

The title of this blog post started off with an epic typo: Texas scars me. Freudian slip?

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you this terrifies me. No offense to anyone from Texas, but in my mind I see the state as three things. Religion, republicans and guns. As a very out genderqueer guy I’m sure you can gather why this is a bit scary for me. I hate viewing anything as negative, and this honestly is an amazing opportunity for my partner. The job couldn’t be anymore perfect except the location so I’ve really got to suck it up.

When my sister died eleven years ago I went through a bad bout of depression. I think I was a zombie for a year. I don’t even remember much of it, but her death brought me to a place where I now see life is way to short to waste with negativity. We all get stuck in a rut and go through stress and rough patches, but I’ve really tried since her death to make the most of everything.

How can I make the most of Texas?

I’ve been rolling over this question since the opportunity became a possibility and I think I finally have an answer. I’m going to seek out LGBT groups there and try to break out of my ‘I like staying home alone to write’ shell. I want to be a positive activist for the LBGT community and after talking to some really great people who live in Texas or have lived in Texas I’m reassured about my move there, and finding like minded people. I’ve been really open about who I am. I don’t plan on hiding my gender identity or sexuality once I’m there. I’m going to be me, and I’m going to find places I can volunteer as much as I can to help make Texas the place I want to live.

This may occasionally turn into how many people can I terrify leaving my books or bookmarks around, watching Tumblr in public, or other antics, but we’ll keep that on the downlow for now.

Now for my big list of to do this week: 

Finish Say Yes and get it sent in.

Get my house ready to sell. (Yes this is why I’ve been covered in paint all week)

List my house.

Throw out all the shit I’ve collected since moving here I don’t need. (It feels so good)

Pack my house. (I need lots of wine for this)

Finish Clouded Hell.

Read Mercedes Lackey Magic’s Pawn (I’m really excited about this0

Sit in the corner, surfing Tumblr, while pretending I have nothing to do. -shifty-

Current song obsession: Hozier – Someone New

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